Technology and the Lasting Legacy
On Monday, May 1, 2006, my world came crashing down when my beloved husband, Jason Bailey, had passed away in our home from his ten-year battle with Hodgkin’s disease, a lymphatic cancer. I knew in my heart that this time would come, but I did not expect it to be two days after we discussed the need to pre-plan his funeral arrangements. Reality began to set-in; I had to notify the families, determine where I wanted the funeral services conducted, contact our pastor about memorial services and most importantly, figure out what I was going to write in my husband’s obituary detailing his short, but fulfilled life that included so many accomplishments.
After laying my husband to rest and handling all of the financial matters that comes with losing a spouse, I had an opportunity to reflect on how my life has changed. I had the normal ups and downs dealing with grief, but one thing that I began to reflect on was if I wrote Jason’s lasting words, would he be proud? Those thoughts started my quest to research how best to write an obituary that details the life of the deceased and how it can be done in a simple way that does not add more stress by using current technology.
My research took two years to complete; I spoke to ministers, funeral home directors, and grieving families to determine what the common practice of writing an obituary is. Through my research I found that the majority of people do not know how to write an obituary or the basics that it should contain and families seek help from their spiritual leaders or the funeral home directly. Unfortunately, using non-standardized methods to write an obituary, one often has written words that are not grammatically correct and lack detail of the deceased’s life from birth to death. After determining how most people write obituaries, I researched what products are available to create that lasting, memorable legacy.
Scouring the worldwide web, I found websites that offered templates to assist in writing an obituary which were very few in numbers. There are three problems using a standard template to write an obituary: time consuming, does not allow customization (generic) and does not allow automatic submission for publication. Many of the templates can be purchased in Portable Document Format (PDF), or small businesses have writers on staff that gather information and create an obituary for you. In an era where people are opting for cremation and expeditious funeral services, one does not have days to have an obituary written or turn a static document into something didactic to be published in the local and birthplace newspaper or online. Second, obituaries are the last words of the deceased and many ethnic groups see the obituary as a story from birth to death that is often used as family genealogy for those that are too young to remember or have not been introduced into the world. The obituary templates often only capture standard information like date of birth and death, number of children and who was preceded in death. It does not address accolades such as military service, educational and work accomplishments, and what made that person impact the community as a whole.
In an era of computers where information is available at the touch of a button or a touch on a cell phone, this is one area where funeral homes can capitalize. I often suggest that funeral homes have a website for their business that includes resources where assistance writing an obituary should be located. The assistance offered should go beyond un-editable documents such as a PDF and should be interactive where the client is given a list of questions that can be answered if so desired, and submitted directly to the funeral home without ever having to break-out paper or a pen. By creating an interactive module on your website, you eliminate information transmission practices of forty years ago (fax, courier services and mail) and reduce errors that often cause delays, which equates to money.
Now that I have you thinking about how a computer can make your life easier, let me introduce the use of social media (Facebook, MySpace and Twitter) to reduce or eliminate your publishing costs. Most major newspapers are affiliated with Legacy.com where their niche is the online publishing of obituaries. Over the last few years, with people purchasing fewer print papers getting their obituary news online, the cost to publish an obituary has increased; the average cost of publishing an obituary in metropolitan areas is $94.43/inch which does not include a picture which could be an additional $150.00. In short, it can cost hundreds of dollars to publish a standard obituary that is five to six sentences in length. Also, since newspapers have limited space and do not publish every obituary submitted, priority is given to those that have the greatest public interest, so funeral homes are beginning to create Facebook and MySpace business pages and publish obituaries there as well as their business website.
Funeral homes can leverage technology for the lasting legacy that is reasonable even in these economic hard times. Even though the trend is to use social media for publishing an obituary, you are still going to want to satisfy those individuals that are slow to change and will not create a social network account to even view the obituary of a loved one. In those specific instances there are many free obituary memorial websites that cover various personal and religious beliefs (The Eternal Portal, Catholic Memorials, Gone to Soon, etc.) where anyone with access to a computer can view and send comments about a loved one or a friend. These websites are free to anyone submitting or viewing an obituary, which is often linked to genealogy websites to help determine heritage links. This is an added benefit since so many newspapers have eliminated free publishing of an obituary and are beginning to charge for viewing obituaries online which can be up to $20 a month.
Funeral homes, use your resources such as technology to further your services especially to create that memorable obituary for your clients. There is an old adage, ‘in the absence of respect fear will do nicely.’ Do not fear using technology, but embrace the new heights that it can take your business while increasing the services to your clients Remember, the obituary is not only words, but the last words about the deceased that lives on for current and future generations. FBA
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Xenia Bailey is co-founder of Legacy of Life Obituaries. She can be reached at 866-483-2926, or email info@legacyoflifeobituaries.com, or visit www.legacyoflifeobituaries.com.
