The Importance of a Grief Recovery Program for Your Funeral Home

There is no guarantee today for anything that has to do with the independent funeral home! The closest thing there is to one, is a grief recovery program facilitated by you.

You’ve helped your families face the initial shock and pain of the death of their loved one.  You’ve guided them over the roughest bump on their road to recovery and lovingly steered them around the worst pothole in their lives.  You’ve earned their utmost trust and respect.  You’ve provided an acceptable way for them to express their grief through memorialization. Why abandon them now?

Take your professional service to its highest level.  Be there for your families every step of the way until they have completely recovered.  Most families have no idea of what is ahead of them on that arduous road.  They are at a complete loss as to what to do next (after the services). Families are wide open for any suggestions you might offer.  They trust you implicitly.

They would much rather have you or your staff help them as they enter the post funeral stage of their grief than someone they don’t even know.

Don’t just thrust them out into the unknown.  They need your guidance.  Without it, many will never find any support.

There is a tremendous satisfaction in knowing you have helped someone emerge from the miry pit of grief with a smile on their face, a spring in their step and a renewed zest for life.  You may be the only one keeping them from a mental hospital, jail or from “going off the deep end”. If nothing else, you have helped them overcome the awful agony of un-resolved grief.  You can make a tremendous difference in their lives.  Become a closer friend and mentor to your families. Your business is built on solid, long term relationships and there is no better way to foster them than through a comprehensive grief recovery program.

Don’t forget the widowers.

The first time I saw Old Joe he was “bustin his buttons.”  There was a sparkle in his eyes, and he was bursting with more energy than he probably had in years. He had just stepped out of his workshop surrounded by a dozen or so little boys, each clutching a brightly painted lawn decoration they made under his supervision. Later that evening I witnessed the immense pride in the eyes of parents as they admired their kid’s handiwork …and Old Joe.

Yes, older men can be great mentors.  They have a wealth of knowledge in so many areas. A widowers support group is a wonderful way to harness those talents and create a marvelous public relations program for your funeral home that will last for years down the road. However, getting a group of widowers (or older men) together for anything is a tough job. There are some things they enjoy, like having breakfast together, or playing cards.  There are some things they’re terrified of, too; like sharing their emotions with women, therefore, never mix widows and widowers together in a support group!

Support groups for grieving parents. Friends of parents who have lost children to death often do not know what to say, so they avoid them or say nothing.  Sadly, many parents divorcefollowing the death of their child.  Having others who have suffered a similar loss to talk with and lean on for support, is a wonderful thing.  You can make it happen.

Pay closer attention to PR opportunities to enhance your grief recovery program. For example, most of us throw a ton of flowers away each year.  Why not have volunteers make vases of the freshest ones using plastic water bottles and deliver them to shut-ins, nursing homes, soup kitchens, etc? Mark vases and set pieces for return to florists. Have a locked room in back so drivers can leave floral arrangements at odd hours.  Ask florists to mark cards with the kinds of flowers in each arrangement. Families like to mention what the arrangement was when they send thank you notes. If florists won’t, you do it. Get a picture of each floral arrangement for the family and include it on the video tape of the service.

Support your community. Encourage your staff to become more personally involved in at least one community organization or activity such as youth sports, scouting or a service club. When you are approached for local sponsorship, offer to be their publicity director for their project. Publicity directors get to meet and talk with everyone involved, plus the media people.

Open your funeral home to families between visiting hours. Parents appreciate a time when they can bring kids in to be with the loved one alone. Out of town family members may need a place to rest.  Give families more time to be alone before and after visiting hours. Help everyone with their coats!

Place more emphasis on graveside activities. It’s not just another graveside service to the family.  Make it unique and special. Be sure there is ample seating for family and the elderly, plus umbrellas, a guest book, etc. Stay with the casket until it’s sealed in the vault. Always have a vault cover on display, and do something special with the family flowers.

When we have a need and someone helps us, we instinctively want to return the favor. When we help someone recover from their grief, an indescribable, lifelong bond, stronger than mortar develops. The person is free at last from the horrible pain of grief and depression, and you have made a friend for life.  Your business is built on solid relationships, trust and appreciation. A grief recovery program will do everything you want it to and then some.  It stands head and shoulders above any PR strategy out there.  Seize the moment. Be the first Funeral Home in your area to offer a program. Everyone will appreciate your thoughtfulness. FBA

Tom Lord is the owner of Point The Way Enterprises and a retired, Funeral Director from Maine. He can be contacted at 207.353.7649 or by email at pointthewayenterprisesa@juno.com.